Welcome to February—the Season of Love! Or as I like to call it, “The Make Sure You’ve Validated Your Worth Through a Relationship” time of year. But seriously though, everyone makes February about either couples’ romance or “Singles’ Awareness.” All the dating websites and apps promotions are in full swing, and every ad I see is for “getting the best gift for your honey,” and they all make me want to gag. Last year, I wrote about why we hate Valentine’s Day even though it’s supposed to be a day of happy, mushy, gushy feelings. This year, I’m not feeling quite as cynical, but I do have a Valentine’s Challenge for you: use Valentine’s Day to be YOUR OWN Valentine.
What does this mean, you might ask? Do you need to send candy and flowers to yourself on the 14th? No, it’s not so literal as that (although, I suppose you could if you really wanted to). Being your own Valentine is about loving yourself this Valentine’s day. We can get so caught up in having a “fairytale” romance because we think it will make us happy, when really, what we need more than anything is a little self-love. My YouTube videos are geared towards teen girls (though I know all demographics enjoy them), and I give them this challenge for Valentine’s Day too because I remember from my time as a teen how ALL IMPORTANT Valentine’s Day and having a boyfriend was to me. Looking back at age 24 though, I see how much time and energy I wasted worrying myself sick about boys and relationships. Not that me telling teen girls to stop worrying is actually going to have any effect on stopping their obsession with boys, but I at least want to give them an alternative. Like being your own Valentine.
So why should you be your own Valentine this year?
1.) Skip the stupid Valentine’s Day heartache!
When you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it sucks. You’re constantly reminded of your singleness by every commercial, restaurant special, and friend who “can’t hangout because they have plans.” If you’re a teen and hoping for a secret admirer to show up with a flowers or a card in your locker, you’re setting yourself up for heartache. This isn’t the movies! Those kinds of things don’t really happen! So you’re better off taking the time to love yourself a little extra on Valentine’s Day rather than wasting it wondering if the cute barista at your frequented coffee shop will give you a foam heart design on your order.
2.) It builds self-confidence and self-worth!
When I talk about “being your own Valentine,” I mean using Valentine’s Day to look at yourself and take stock. What are you being too hard on yourself about? Where do you need some extra encouragement? What do you feel inadequate in? Take those faults you find, and bolster them up with love. Remind yourself that you are not your pants size. Remember that you’re so much more than the job you currently have or how expensive your clothes are. Heck, find a cheesy valentine card (they’re rampant on the Internet) and send one to yourself. Just remind yourself of how awesome you are even when you don’t feel so great.
3.) Why should you rely on someone else for your happiness?
But really, why does a guy buying you flowers or jewelry mean that you have any more worth than you did before you had a guy doing that? You can be happy with or without a guy fawning over you.
4.) Boys are stupid anyway.
No one can argue that point, I bet! We love them, but they also do some stupid things and can be stupidly oblivious to wonderfully devoted women right in front of them. So just be your own Valentine and skip the drama and friend-zoning.
5.) It applies to you if you’re single or taken.
Sometimes we forget once we have a significant other that we should still love ourselves. We start to gather all of our self-worth from the relationship rather than cultivating it personally and sharing it with our partner. We get consumed by trying to make a relationship work that we forget to take care of ourselves. So this Valentine’s Day, remember to love yourself more than anyone else. You can celebrate with your significant other or by yourself or not at all but don’t forget that the most important person to make happy is you.
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