How to Deal With Bad Things

Over Thanksgiving this happened to my car:

And I subsequently went into a meltdown that probably looked something like this:

You see my car is pretty precious to me. Not because I’m a crazy car person (that’s cats!), but because it’s the first and only thing that’s ever been “mine.” I don’t have an apartment or a house or a dog or a husband or a child. I have my vlogging camera and that’s about the only other thing of real value that belongs to me. If someone smashed my camera I would be devastated, and similarly when someone backed into my car (accidentally!) I had a mini world rocking. I’d never had to deal with insurance before. I was afraid to tell my dad for fear of him somehow laying the blame on me. I was embarrassed that I would have to drive it around for a while with a big dent in the side because I felt like that dent somehow reflected badly on my character. (Like what kind of irresponsible person let’s their car get dramatically dented and then still drives it around?)

So we can say that I had to deal with a “Bad Thing” in the context of my life. In no way, was it the worst thing that ever happened to anybody ever, but it was certainly causing me a lot of strife. And we all have Bad Things happen to us. They don’t always look “bad” to other people, but to us, in our individual lives we have struggles and Bad Things and we have to find a way to deal with them. So I made this list:

Step #1: Go be by yourself and cry/scream/emote it out.

Emotions are natural. Suppressing your emotions is not. It’s best not to inflict your deluge of emotions on unsuspecting bystanders though. So take a little alone time and figure out your emotions.

Step #2: Be forgiving.

In my case, my boyfriend’s father hit my car. I could have been really mad and blamed him and held a grudge. But after my initial emotions ran their course, I realized there wasn’t any point in blaming anyone. I knew he didn’t mean to do it. And even if he had (which why would anyone do that?), it still wouldn’t do any good. It would just be me simmering in my own anger. In other cases, the person you have to forgive is yourself and this is just as important to do.

Step #3: Take it one step at a time.

You can’t do everything all at once. And you definitely can’t fix all the Bad Things at the same time. Many times we feel like we have to, but that’s just not feasible for anyone. So what do you do instead? Stay calm and put one foot in front of the other. Take one step at a time. And know that moving slowly but surely forward will get you to the end of the Bad Thing eventually.

I haven’t made it to the end of the Bad Thing yet. There’s still a dent in my car.   But I have an estimate from the insurance company, and it’s scheduled to go into the shop for the repair in January. Every step I take is new and scary for me, but I’m doing it! And I have so far successfully dealt with the Bad Thing. And I hope whatever Bad Things you’re dealing with will work out too!